Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Year of Release: 1979
Director: Robert Wise
It should be noted that I’m reviewing the extended DVD version that was released.
Star Trek; where can you possible go wrong with this movie? We’re talking about a franchise that is over 30 years old and still going on strong thanks to J.J. Abrams revival of the franchise. I have been a Trekker for the last 27 years of my life.
To clarify a Trekker watches the shows, movies, and has bought some Star Trek collectibles. A Trekkie does all this and dresses up to go to the conventions. I am a Trekker.
Since I’m going to be critiquing all the Star Trek movies, it’s best to start with the one that started them all. So now I present to you Star Trek: The Motion Picture.
When starting this blog, I had to keep in mind that this movie was made in 1979. Thus, they didn’t have the cool kickass graphics you see in today’s movies. So I can’t get all angry movie nerd on this.
However, the story line…hell to the yes I’m going to rant. Most Trekkers and Trekkies will say this is the worst movie ever made in the Star Trek series. Just ask any member of my family. In case you are wondering, what most think, most would say it’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn.
Anyway, this movie starts out with an anomaly that is heading towards Earth. Well it happens to be in Klingon Space at the time. If you know anything about the Kilngons, the first reaction is to kill it. The cool thing about this entire opening sequence is the Klingon battle music that later becomes the theme for Kilngons. The Kilngons quickly become vaporized by an energy bolt that flies into the ship. Now the anomaly becomes a doomsday device that is heading towards Earth.
Meanwhile, on Vulcan, Lt. Spock (Leonard Nimoy) is undergoing the Kholinor. This is the highest level of achievement a Vulcan, let alone a half-Vulcan, like Spock can achieve. This means you have decided to omit all emotions and think on pure logic (aka any politician). Or if you want the politically incorrect modernized version…he becomes a stone cold prick.
Midway through the ceremony, Spock senses the anomaly headed towards Earth. He also senses his friends are in danger. Since his emotions lie elsewhere he cannot achieve Kolinor.
Now back on Earth, Admiral James T. Kirk (William Shatner) has come to retake command of the Enterprise which was being captained by, Captain Willard Decker (Stephen Collins…from 7th Heaven). Naturally word has gotten out about the anomaly; except Decker doesn’t know that Kirk has been assigned to take over. However, with this big emergency going on, we have to see the entire ship and have some few dramas before hand as well. Since I’m ranting on the extended version, this is where the rant actually beings.
Kirk meets up with Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott (James Doohan) and they fly in a shuttlecraft to the Enterprise. Now instead of going straight to the shuttle bay, they fly all the way around the damn ship. Movie length this took exactly 5-10 minutes. I’m not joking. Every angle, every window, every light, and even the service men working on the ship were seen.
While on the ship, Kirk meets Decker and is reunited with his old crew. However, both Spock and Dr. McCoy (DeForest Kelly) are not on board the ship yet. He also meets the person at the comm. Named Lt. Ilyia (Persis Khambatta). Ilyia and Decker have had a relationship in the past, but we will focus on that later.
We have a transporter accident were the would be science officer and two other crewmates dematerialize. This explains why Kirk and Scotty flew to the Enterprise. BUT!!! Later, Dr. McCoy is beamed onto the ship!
Two things are wrong with this. The first thing is three people just died in a transporter accident. The second is anyone who knows the show, knows that Dr. McCoy hates using the transporter. “I’m not having my god damn atoms spread all over the damn galaxy,” was his famous line for why he hated it. Yet, Kirk says to Starfleet to beam him up when he hears from the clues that is Dr. McCoy. Some best friend!
Now the funny thing about all of this, you might ask yourself. They haven’t left the damn space dock yet!
So finally we get to leave the space dock and they head out. They go past all the nine planets and get ready to hit warp drive…only to generate a wormhole and (what for it) they are on a collision course with an asteroid inside the wormhole. Also during this, the panel where Lt. Chekov (Walter Koenig) is sitting short circuits and fries his hand. Lt. Ilyia, has the power to heal (No, I’m not making this up). Now to top this inane scene, they have to shoot the asteroid to get out of the wormhole….while acting in slooooooooooooow motion (again not making this up).
Before continuing on, I need to give a shout out to Kat and Dana who sent me this song at one time. This song will serve as the purpose for the rest of this movie. You can check out the link here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2v6rXs5J9M
Oh one thing else to mention about the wormhole. According to www.imdb.com Chekov was supposed to die in the accident. Talk about ticking off the fans there. Kill off a main character, that doesn’t happen in the Star Trek Franchise. Everyone knows you send in the no name, only been on the show for five minutes person to die.
Now the wormhole is caused by an imbalance in the engines. Guess who arrives to save the day? It’s Mr. Spock (can we say finally). By the way, it takes him two minutes to board the ship via shuttlecraft. Spock is now the first officer (though never really announced) as well as being the science officer. Decker is pretty much there to hang out.
Finally (as we breathe a sigh of a relief) we arrive at the anomaly. It tries to attack the ship but with shields at maximum power it deflects the blast. Why the Klingons didn’t figure that one out is beyond me. The shields are now gone. So it attacks again, but Spock is able to figure out it’s trying to communicate on a level that no one has used in years, communicates, and the attack just disappears. Mow they can fly into this thing. Also we’re about 45 minutes into this movie.
As they are flying through we’re treated to a beautiful score by the late Jerry Goldsmith. That’s it! We see images of the anomaly and the crew’s reactions, especially Spock’s as we slowly learn that this thing has a child’s like mind.
Midway through the score, the ship is probed by a white flashing light stick. No one can touch it and eventually it abducts Lt. Ilyia. Then we’re back to flying on and finally arrives to the heart of the anomaly. Ilyia has now come back on the ship but she has changed. She talks in a robotic voice and has a glowing yellow light on her throat. She says that the crew is in the presence of V’ger. She is serving as his eyes and ears. The crew hears this and for a brief moment they ponder this, but decide it’s best to jog Ilyia’s memory by having Decker reminder her of their relationship. Mind you we’re in an anomaly that could wipe out Earth in one shot. And we’re not even talking about the Borg here.
Ilyia gets mad and demands to see The Creator. In other words, V’ger’s creator. V’ger wants to touch the hand of God, the one who created him. With everyone scrambling around for answers and V’ger is minutes from Earth; Spock takes the initiative to dive deeper into V’ger. As he does this, he’s recording what he sees and runs into this gigantic image of Lt. Ilyia. So he tries to mind meld with Ilyia to figure out what is going on. The result is image overload and he’s hurled back to the Enterprise. Kirk catches him in his arms as he figures out what Spock was up to and was trying to see if he could catch him. Back on the ship Spock confirms what he saw while crying.
Kirk is now ticked off and demands that Ilyia takes him to V’ger. He even threatens to blow up the ship. Ilyia says that V’ger wants to see him now and asks to take V’ger to The Creator. OF course since we’re making this up as we go along, Kirk agrees. The ship suddenly stops and outside the ship there is air….we’re in deep space and there’s air! They walk off the ship. Literally, you see Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Decker, and Ilyia walk off the saucer section of the ship. They walk up to this alter like area and see V’ger. He looks just like an old NASA probe. Well, that’s because he is. While brushing off some dust….yes dust…Decker reveals that V’ger is the space probe Voyager! The same probe NASA sent up years ago to see if there was life past our solar system. The one that is still transmitting today. Apparently V’ger has obtained enough information that he has become a sentient being. My question is did he run into the Soong family (they created Data).
Well now we met V’ger, we’re orbiting Earth, and V’ger is threatening to destroy Earth if he doesn’t touch the Creator. Decker says he’s The Creator. V’ger hears this and deliberately short circuits himself. Because, V’ger wants Decker to “touch” him. In other words, fix him and tell him his mission is complete. Kirk and Spock are confused and it’s McCoy that sees the wisdom in this and says what greater joy than to touch the hand of God. Ilyia warms them they have to get back on the ship because V’ger will just disappear when this task is complete. Of course they have to stick around to watch Decker fix the wires and see him and Ilyia both glow. Once they see the glow they literally haul ass back to the ship. Once they are on the ship, V’ger disappears and the crisis is over. Ten minutes of logs, explanations this movie is over and we roll the credits.
I still to this day watch this movie, especially if I’m on a Star Trek kick, but I’m still left with the same question every time. How in the blue hell did this movie make any sense? Can someone explain this to me? I thought I was a Star Trek nerd, but man this movie has me beat. It’s like the Star Trek: Next Generation episode Cause and Effect. The one episode I still cannot figure out to this day.
Stay tuned for Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn
*Revision: Chekov's hand wasn't hurt during the wormhole. This came later at the Enterprise was at the anomaly. I apologize for the error.
