Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D
Directed by: Alexandre Aja
Staring Elisabeth Shue, Christopher Lloyd, Ving Rames, Jerry O’Connell, and Richard Dryfuss

As funny as this might sound, I was dragged to this movie. However, even though I say it like that, it is because of an arrangement with my wife where if I take her to a movie that she doesn’t want to see, she takes me to one I don’t want to see. This system has worked for us, but I have several movies to make up for because of the majority of all the Harry Potter movies. So needless to say I was not overly thrilled to see this movie.

The movie itself was not that bad. It was a remake of the original movie back in the 70’s. My wife commented that they were remaking a cult classic that was actual one of the B-rated movies where the blood was mega fake and the story line was so cheesy that it was more comical than that of a horror film. This movie did capture that aspect. The only difference is thirty years later the piranhas and the blood are more realistic. The story is of course cheesy but overall I think that is what the director wanted.

The story also appeals to men…heavily appeals to men I should say. The reason for this, lots of topless and at a few times, fully naked women, women making out with each other, and of course beer…lots of it. Let’s also not forget the big wet T-shirt contest midway through the movie...and no I’m not making this up.
This happens to be the one time I’ll rate the movie two different ways. The reason for that is, it has to be rated this way so I can give you, my fellow readers a sense of what the movie and 3D experience is. Mind you this was my first actual 3D movie I had ever seen.

First the movie rating:

The movie itself centers around spring break in of all places the state of Arizona on the fictional Lake Victoria. (Thank you to my friend Dana who is from Arizona whom informed me that there is no Lake Victoria in Arizona) During spring break an underground earthquake hits the lake and unleashes a breed of piranhas that dates back to the days of the dinosaurs. These piranhas are naturally not like the ones of today, but they like to fest on the flesh of their prey. As mentioned this is happening during spring break where hundreds of college students are gathered to celebrate the drinking, bikini wearing splendor.

As the college party is going on a Girls Gone Wild Escapade is also going on where our hero of the movie has been roped into. Naturally he likes going to it. As the movie progresses the local law enforcement finds out what is going on with the “sudden deaths” and tries to evacuate the lake. Of course the college students decide to do what they want to do and chaos ensues. The movie itself ends in a twist, which allows it to easily set itself up for a sequel, hopefully not in 3D…or worse 4D (hence sequel name)

As for the movie, what graphics I could see, and the overall story I give the movie itself 3 stars out of five.

Now for the 3D rating:

This movie in my honest opinion did not need to be in 3D. The main reason for this was what few piranha attacks in the movie and the sudden things leaping out at you were very minimal. What you do see a lot of in 3D was the credits popping out of you and the women shaking their bikini clad breasts, or in some cases naked breasts as well as their wiggling butts in 3D. Honestly, do we need to have this in 3D? I mean seriously what is the point? What are next, porno films in 3D? I guess in some ways, there is a market for this thanks to James Cameron and the overwhelming success of Avatar. However, there is no need to see the proverbial “tits and ass” in 3D. If you wanted to have that kind of up close experience one should look at their wife or girlfriend. You get the same experience for free. I also don’t need to have the credits just fly out at me. I mean seriously what is the point of that. I mean how often to random words just fly out at you from out of nowhere? Honestly if I wanted to feel like I was in the movie, I would have asked to be an extra in the movie. I’m sure there’s a good need for 3D movies, however it’s not my cup of tea. After leaving the movie I was rather sick to my stomach. It wasn’t because the over abundance of blood. After all, I’ve sat though Rod Zombie movies, and if I can get through them, I can get through anything. It was the 3D experience that made me feel ill.

Sadly this movie failed in the 3D department. Therefore this movie receives 0 stars for its 3D experience. If you do see this movie, see it in regular 3D, trust me you’ll enjoy it much better.

Disclaimer

Disclaimer:

The movies that are reviewed on this blog site is my own opinions of the movies that I review. My comments are in no way associated with professional critics, the movie studios in Hollywood and around the world or the actors and film crews for the movies.
This movie review blog is also not to sway the opinion of the general public.

This is my own opinions on movies that I have seen and have decided to review.
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